I have to admit I used to think the term “comfort-ghan” was trite, and I thought the idea of them to be kind, but of what use? I mean I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, from the deaths of friends, family, loved ones, to the other kinds of losses through divorce, and distance…how could an afghan, scarf, shawl make a dent in the pain?
It doesn’t make a dent, it doesn’t take it away…but it does do something. It reminds you that you are loved. And that is not something to question. Over the past three weeks our household has been showered with cards from community members, friends, relatives. We know we are thought of, loved, and people are with us. I have recieved so many thoughtful emails from my crochet community, and to you all I am most grateful.
As I crocheted my mother in law’s comfortghan, I too was comforted. In the days after my father in law’s death, the rhythmic movement of each bullion stitch, the dance my hands performed, was soothing and real in contrast to the grief that seemed to swirl in a surreal haze as my brain tried to digest the previous weekend’s events.
Each square was made with tenderness, memories are infused in each stitch, thoughts of my mother in law mingle with recollected moments of her with my father in law as I bound the squares together, and then edging the piece with the thought of love and healing, that only time can really cater to…
I won’t give it to her this weekend of the memorial though…I’m going to mail it. About a week from this coming Saturday, she will get this with a simple note.
It will be after this next week that people will start returning to their routines, or homes, and she won’t have constant company, as she has for the past month. That’s when the comfort will be truly needed, and this is a pretty snuggly blankie. It just feels more right this way.